When faced with loss, we can get lost in our pain, too. But God’s grace is real. It can find us in the most difficult situation and bring us back to Him.
My first boyfriend passed away five years ago. He had been diagnosed with leukemia just a week before he died. We had been together for almost four years: we spent a lot of time together in college, experienced so many things, and built dreams together. His death didn’t make sense to me.
For years, I kept asking God why it happened. I grew up in a Christian family, but the pain of his death made my heart fragile and vulnerable to things that were not pleasing to God. I was easily swayed to do things that I thought would ease the pain. I put my pain above everything else.
I tried everything to forget that he was gone. I went clubbing and tried meeting different people just to fill the gap, but the void was too deep. No matter what I did, I couldn’t bury the memory of his death.
Until God’s grace came through.
After graduating from college, I was assigned to a job in Pangasinan. One of my workmates connected me to Victory Alaminos, where I met people from the singles ministry and became part of a Victory group. Slowly, I began to experience God’s grace and amazing love through the people I met in church. They helped me heal and realize how much I had been wasting my life.
As I continued to heal, not just emotionally but even spiritually, God brought me to a new place. I was assigned to a job in Cavite, where I immediately found a family in our church in General Mariano Alvarez. I became actively involved in the music ministry and grew further in my faith.
In January 2018, I participated in our annual prayer and fasting week for the first time. In one of the meetings, God placed a desire in my heart for a relationship that is centered on Him alone—not on the love that I am willing to give and expecting to receive. He made me realize that I could only be whole and complete in Him, so I prayed for a relationship that would honor Him and put His love above everything.
A few months later, one of my good friends, who is a Kids Church volunteer, expressed his desire to know me more. I learned later on that he had been praying for me and intentionally building a relationship with me. It seemed that God had been preparing his heart all this time while also healing mine. It was such a sweet surprise from God.
After several months of praying and seeking God, he finally asked me, not just to be his girlfriend, but to be his wife, too! We are now engaged and preparing for our wedding this year.
It was amazing how love found me again, but it was nothing compared to how God’s love and grace rescued me at a time when I thought I was beyond help. Indeed, only His grace can heal the deepest wounds in our hearts and fill the broken cracks.
Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. Isaiah 43:1
Hanna is part of Victory General Mariano Alvarez and serves in the music ministry. She is continually seeking God and growing in faith as she prepares for her next season.
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